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About Literature / Student KatFemale/United States Recent Activity
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littleblueraccoon's Profile Picture
littleblueraccoon
Kat
Artist | Student | Literature
United States
Kat.
Seventeen years old.
Kinda awkward.
Literal flower child.
An ever-changing work in progress.

I love music, writing, poems, books, romance, and art/beauty of all varieties.

Talk to me anytime! :heart:

Icon by witchpaws
Interests
sorry :(

I think something's changing about me. When I was a kid, I could write stories for hours and hours and never get bored. Lately I feel like I have no attention span. All I can write are poems and most of those I don't even finish. My whole life I wanted to be an author and now I think that's changing.

I'm about to be a senior in high school and everything just feels weird. I was dating this boy for the past two years and I was idiot-poet in love with him and he dumped me like I meant nothing and it hurt for a long time but it's gotten to the point where I'm okay with it because I can look back and realize that he wasn't a good person and actually treated me pretty terribly at times. He never would've been right for me but that doesn't stop me from caring about him, which basically sucks.

But something I've realized is that I was so in love with him that I forgot who I was. I spent all my time trying to be the kind of girl he could love because I thought that if I tried harder, he would actually care about me. But the truth is that he never loved me, or at least not the way I loved him. And he's naturally a careless person. I never meant much to him and was just a simple little low priority in his life. 

But there were good times. Looking back hurts. I keep thinking of making out in his car and feeling actually truly beautiful just because he wanted me, and of how he used to sing along to songs in the car and every time a lyric said something about being in love or something about a beautiful girl, he'd (poorly) sing out the lyrics and grab my hand. He used to rub his thumb in circles on my skin when we held hands, and he had perfect green eyes and these cute little freckles across his cheeks. I miss how he felt in my arms and his voice singing quietly against my chest before we went to sleep. I was so young and so fucking stupid :) I was like harley quinn expecting the joker to love her and respect her and treat her right. 

I've talked to every friend and family member and they've helped me so much. I keep telling myself that none of the good stuff matters anymore and that I'm going to learn from all of this and that he made his choice and that he'll never be right for me and that he was never that great in the first place and all the other things I need to tell myself to get through it. And I'm really going to be okay. He's just a boy. 

Albeit a boy I really, really loved.

Being with him made me forget who I was. My mission now is to figure out who the fuck I am anymore, because at the moment, I feel like I don't entirely know.

Sorry for the rambling, it's a long lonely night and I felt like explaining why I haven't been around.

Sorry

Kat

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:iconfanfictioniscool:
Fanfictioniscool Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
How's your Tenpur-pedic?
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(1 Reply)
:iconcavalieramour:
cavalieramour Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2016  Student General Artist
Hello dear! I hope you are well. Just stopped by to say that your profile ID is very cute and that your poetry has always been such an inspiration to me. (I don't think I tell people what I feel enough so I suppose this is me trying to do that). I would love to get to know you better, because it seems that we have been mutual followers but don't know too much about each other! :hug: I hope you have a fantastic day. xx
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(1 Reply)
:iconlaurenabees:
Laurenabees Featured By Owner May 29, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Happy birthday raccoon! :D
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(1 Reply)
:icondickywebster:
Dickywebster Featured By Owner May 29, 2016
Happy birthday :D
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(1 Reply)
:iconkatierosprim:
KatieRosprim Featured By Owner May 29, 2016  Student Digital Artist
Happy Birthday, friend!! :)
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(1 Reply)
:iconwetterlage:
Wetterlage Featured By Owner May 29, 2016
Let me send you all my best wishes for your birthday :shamrock:, dear Kat! :iconflowersplz:
I hope that you're fine and that you'll have a great time! :iconsunshineplz:  :-)
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(1 Reply)
:iconwindfragments:
WindFragments Featured By Owner May 29, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy Birthday! :cake: :hug:
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(1 Reply)
:iconidyllicsiren:
IdyllicSiren Featured By Owner May 29, 2016  Student Writer
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! YOU'RE SO TALENTED OMFG :)
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(1 Reply)
:iconithaswhatitisnt:
ithaswhatitisnt Featured By Owner May 29, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Happy birthday!! :tighthug: :heart: :iconrainbowcakeplz: I hope you have a wonderful day!! 
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(1 Reply)
:iconsummeryates:
summeryates Featured By Owner May 22, 2016
i'm gonna watch the frick outta you, you talented dandelion
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(1 Reply)
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