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Submitted on
December 26, 2013


131 (who?)
"mirror, mirror, on the wall
who's the fairest of them all?"
i whispered to my doleful reflection,
but this was no fairy tale:
this was a small town on a cold, foggy night.

my skeleton was so beautiful
i wanted to showcase it,
give onlookers a glimpse of my impending
death through my very flesh.
i could picture myself, edges carved away
like a cored apple.
i just wanted to feel real.

everyone around me chewed and swallowed so easily
but i just gnawed on my lip until i
tasted blood, and let
a piece of myself die.
the flavor made my mouth water
as my stomach ground out hoarse
requests for expansion, for meaning.

i held nothing within but pathetic yearning,
hollow with self-hatred.
i could only feel affection with pain.

perfection became my obsession,
consuming me alive the way i would have
loved to consume anything at all.
some part of me believe i could be a super model,
and living my life on ambition and emptiness
was the way to do it.
every day i watched the little numbers
on the bathroom scale plummet.
now, you see, i can't stop it.

only air enters my lips, too light, too light.
they tell me i'm beautiful,
that i belong on elle and vogue,
but they never spoke such words
when i was healthy.
this addictive disease will overtake me.
it holds my death in its hands like dice:
winner take all.

my body is paper, twisted like a cage,
and i've no choice but to go down with this ship.
tonight, i heard nothing but my dinner plate
yelling at me for what i have done.
i took my silverware and stabbed into my enemy,
watched the fragments divide: mitosis.
now i'm beautiful,
now i'm fit for magazines,
a flawless living cadaver.

well, at least i'll look gorgeous
on the day of my funeral.
Trigger warning: eating disorders, anorexia

I've never had an eating disorder, but I've seen how it affects people. I apologize deeply if this offends anyone. It's not my intention to glamorize eating disorders. I want to bring to light the way society makes everyone feel bad about themselves. In all honesty, it scares the living hell out of me. It's something that really saddens me, that this world is so mess up people will hurt themselves and even kill themselves to fit into a standard of beauty. 

This poem is dedicated to anyone who has ever struggled with an eating disorder, or anyone who has watched a loved one go through it. It's dedicated to anyone who's ever felt ugly, and anyone who ever considered doing something terrible to feel better. You're all beautiful in your own way, and you're all beautiful to me. 

© 2013 littleblueraccoon
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Layla-Grey Featured By Owner Edited Aug 31, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Amazing! , beautifully written , and shows the emotions so clearly, i love it, BRAVO!
littleblueraccoon Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2014  Student Writer
thank you! c:
nothingcreativeatall Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2014  Student Writer
It's a very creative poem!

The only thing I would suggest is that if you feel as though you may offend anyone put a trigger warning. Trigger warnings help those who are battling to overcome something to avoid things that can cause them to have and relapse. In this case if you wanted to, you can put "Trigger Warning: Eating Disorder."

Other than that it's an amazing piece of writing that shows victims battling this disorder. You are a great writer!
littleblueraccoon Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2014  Student Writer
Thank you! Oh, good idea, by the way! I probably should have had a trigger warning on this from the beginning anyway. :heart: Thank you so much! 
nothingcreativeatall Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2014  Student Writer
Any time! Magenta Heart 
drizzlinghurricane Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the consideration I am currently recovering from one and it's not offensive imo
You are already a great person for showing care for these people <3 it is appreciated
littleblueraccoon Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2014  Student Writer
It's no problem, I wanted to write this. Aww...:tighthug: Thank you! I hope all is well with you. Good luck with your recovery! 
drizzlinghurricane Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
i am alright currently 5 weeks into recovery already and I already made such progress and I am hella content with my body :D thank you~!!! :glomp:
littleblueraccoon Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2014  Student Writer
Yay! :hug: You're fabulous!
Larissa-Richelle Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow, this is really beautiful writing! And you wrote it so well that it feels like it came right from experience, so I'm quite amazed that you don't have an eating disorder yourself; as someone who had one, I can definitely tell you that this definitely depicts perfectly exactly what it is like! 
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