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Submitted on
January 22
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they say home is where the heart is,
but they never claimed it had to be beating.
if this town is all there is to living,
then I'm dead,
and these dusty dirt roads
are my sad little gravestones.

there's a harsh winter wind.
I'm breathing,
but it's the same air I've inhaled
since I first opened my
surgical steel eye to the world.

remember the pale pink dress
I wore to our senior prom?
you held me
under the fuzzy yellow confetti light.
I loved you because you were so gentle,
and when I fell apart,
you were the only person who knew
I could fix myself on my own.
you twirled me like I mattered,
because you knew that one day I would die.

you forgot that you would, too.

you are wrought iron starlight,
my crooked grey dove.
you live in the sidewalk cracks,
moaning my name as I
cautiously step over the gorges.

my mother calls, from time to time.
I've learned to let the phone ring
because her voice is not the one I want to hear.
she's too tepid, unsure.
she's the link strangling me,
pinning me to this dim diner
and that empty car lot.

my hands are so cold
without yours around them.
we hatched great escapes and
hefty plans for freedom,
but we never got farther
than the border of our high school fence.
cool metal cut the throat
of our stifled hope.

yet I sit, restlessly content,
burrowed in TV advertisements
and homespun impatience.
I pass the cemetery every morning
on my way to work,
headstones staring at my neck,
itching to strike bone.
everyone I've ever known will rest there,
screaming beneath witch grass.

I'm gonna die
and no one's gonna know my name.
not even you,
'cause you're dead, too.

I suppose it's just as well:
I'm living in a comfortable hell.
this is inspired by the song "Call Home" by Wild Light, particularly these lines:

"Now the moonlight lights up all of the dirty back roads,
past the graveyard family plot where everyone I know...
...goes."

i dunno what happened here. I was listening to that song, and i got really sad and then i wrote this. what do you think?

2014 littleblueraccoon

EDIT: guys. guys, front page again? whoa, thank you so much! i just...i can't believe i ever got to the front page at all, and now i'm here for the second time in a row this week. i just...thank you. i feel so loved.
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:iconnellie0224:
Nellie0224 Jan 30, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Stunned 
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:iconroronoazoro65543:
This is so incredible.... :wow: It reminded me a lot of myself and that I just take all of the bittersweet moments and accept them for what they are. Thanks for uploading. :hug:
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:iconlittleblueraccoon:
littleblueraccoon Jan 31, 2014  Student Writer
Of course! Thank you for reading! :heart:
Reply
:iconbooleethekid67:
BooLeeTheKid67 Jan 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Wow. This is so wonderful and it really reminds me of my hometown in a bittersweet kind of way. Nice work!
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:iconlittleblueraccoon:
littleblueraccoon Jan 27, 2014  Student Writer
Thank you so much! :heart:
Reply
:iconbook-lover98:
book-lover98 Jan 26, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT!!!!! Can I use it for my Forensics thing?
Reply
:iconlittleblueraccoon:
littleblueraccoon Jan 27, 2014  Student Writer
Thank you! :hug:

May I ask what the thing is? c:
Reply
:iconbook-lover98:
book-lover98 Feb 1, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
A forensics competition. Well there are two competitions and then state.
Reply
:iconlittleblueraccoon:
littleblueraccoon Feb 1, 2014  Student Writer
I'm sorry, but I don't think I feel comfortable with you using this in a contest. I also think you would get disqualified because you didn't write this. I'm also not sure what this has to do with forensics. This is a poem of mine that I'm actually proud of, and that doesn't happen often, so I would appreciate it if you would respect my wishes. Thanks!
Reply
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