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Submitted on
December 9, 2013
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i will die with your name on my lips
because there is nothing else i'll need to say.
you are my coffin, my funeral pyre.
as my bones disintegrate, popping and snapping,
you will greedily swallow my ashes
until nothing is left of me but secondhand smoke.

i've danced with you, love, across hospital tile,
the scent of antiseptic cloying as valentine's chocolate.
you dipped me into unconsciousness,
and i willingly closed my eyes.
the intrusion of your scalpel teeth no longer scares me.
you, my rigor mortis soul mate, always take me under.

your tent of frostbitten shelter pulls me down, an anchor,
while i gag on pills too abstract to save me.
forgive me, lungs, of my cigarette abuse,
but i've found happiness in a reaper's cloak.
i find comfort in these carcinogens.
i've made my nest in a swaying tree,
my body destroyed by the nauseous rocking.

they smile at me with pity in their eyes,
scribbling nonsense on those jaw-like clipboards.
their crisp, stark white world still has faith in me,
yet i know i can only let them down.
don't they understand that you and i are meant to be?
our somber engagement is as inevitable as nightfall.
no matter my choices, i will die by your hand.

my heart is connected to yours by i.v. lines,
intersecting and crisscrossing blood cells.
bedside lily petals crumble to blackened mulch,
falling in the tortoise suture of time.
it invades flowers as it invades me.

this melodramatic sink into death is killing me.
i wish to leave quickly, hit bloodied pavement with a gunshot,
but we do not choose the disaster that ends us.
i will leave a bitter brown aftertaste
on these plain white walls
A woman dying of lung cancer reflects on her lifetime of smoking, and how there was no way for her to survive it.

This poem really depresses me, but I figured I'd post it anyway and see what everyone thinks.

I write about cigarettes a lot, for someone who's never smoked in her life. Well, I had a snow day today, so naturally I wrote a poem! This is a little rough, but I liked writing it. I'm trying to start writing on new topic, but I guess talking about smoke and lungs and cigarettes is something, even if I've written on it quite a bit. I hope you enjoyed this! 

If you liked this, let me know! I love your feedback! :heart:

2013 littleblueraccoon
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:icons-ketchhead:
s-ketchhead Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
GAAAAHHHHHHHHH


'i will leave a bitter brown aftertaste 
on these plain white walls' 


Heart Heart Heart 
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:iconlittleblueraccoon:
littleblueraccoon Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014  Student Writer
hehe, thanks! :heart:
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:iconunisis-2-in-1-beauty:
Unisis-2-in-1-beauty Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2014  Student General Artist
this is AWESOME!
when i was reading this i really felt that the poet, aka you, had/ was experiencing this... it's just sooooooooooooooo good!

This is really well written.
LOVE it!!
Reply
:iconlittleblueraccoon:
littleblueraccoon Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2014  Student Writer
Wow, thank you! I'm glad to hear it seemed realistic, though I've never experienced this personally.
Reply
:iconunisis-2-in-1-beauty:
Unisis-2-in-1-beauty Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2014  Student General Artist
welcome
and i hope you don't!

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:iconsootandcinders:
sootandcinders Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2013  Student Writer
Wow. This is tragically beautiful. You have such a way with words. :heart:
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:iconlittleblueraccoon:
littleblueraccoon Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you very much! :huggle:
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:iconsootandcinders:
sootandcinders Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013  Student Writer
You're welcome :hug:
Reply
:iconnomiloveu:
nomiloveu Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2013  Student Photographer
This is incredible; you certainly have a way with words.
Reply
:iconlittleblueraccoon:
littleblueraccoon Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you very much! :heart:
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