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i met you on december 21st,
the longest night of the year.
you had solstice eyes: cold, dark, alluring.
i knew you were not meant to last,
powerful as a gale but fragile as
the tulip stems you snapped,
a sickening cycle of you,
an overwhelming tidal wave.

they say two wrongs will never make a right,
but i made so many bad choices that
i wound up back where I began.
it was too easy to love you,
but getting you to love me back was impossible.
i clawed at your chest until I struck blood,
until my nails split into shards.
you were born a phantom,
and i, your corpse.

holding onto you felt like drowning in quicksand;
i fought but always sank into your arms.
i breathed in dirt, breathed in dust, and
found my organs choked with you,
smothered by your existence.
you sucked out my breath
every time i kissed you.
i died every day with your hand
knotted in my hair.

You left on june 21st,
the longest day of the year.
i bit down sorrow and deconstructed
the labyrinth within me,
the one you hadn't the patience to venture through.
that day, the sun set slowly,
dragging painfully down the sky,
and i decided that
time would never favor me, anyway.
Another poem written during Slam Poetry Club. I wrote it for my friend Emma, who wanted to read a poem about the solstice. Thoughts? Questions? Comments? Let me know! :la:

2013 littleblueraccoon
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:icondsyfunctionall:
Dsyfunctionall Featured By Owner May 11, 2014
Amazing <3. Emotional and gripping. Beautiful. Don't ever stop writing, deary.
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:iconlittleblueraccoon:
littleblueraccoon Featured By Owner May 14, 2014  Student Writer
Aw, you're so sweet! Thank you! I promise I won't. :heart:
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:iconsquishboots:
squishboots Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
don't ever stop.
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:iconlittleblueraccoon:
littleblueraccoon Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2014  Student Writer
I won't. Thank you. :heart:
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:iconxxxxbrokenxangelxxxx:
xxXxBrokenxAngelxXxx Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2014  Student Writer
I love it. So beautiful. Keep Writing, love.
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:iconlittleblueraccoon:
littleblueraccoon Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2014  Student Writer
Thank you! And I will, don't worry. :heart:
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:iconnaomiphantomhive1:
naomiphantomhive1 Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2014  Student General Artist
.........this...is...awesome...and so emotional....
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:iconlittleblueraccoon:
littleblueraccoon Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2014  Student Writer
thank you! c:
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:iconnaomiphantomhive1:
naomiphantomhive1 Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2014  Student General Artist
you're welcome~!
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:iconnamida713:
Namida713 Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2013
I absolutely love your writing style <3 Wonderful poem
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:iconlittleblueraccoon:
littleblueraccoon Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you so much! :dummy:
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:iconghostoftheemptygrave:
Sad but beautiful.
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:iconlittleblueraccoon:
littleblueraccoon Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you! 
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:iconghostoftheemptygrave:
You're welcome.
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:iconzetawolf97:
Zetawolf97 Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2013  Hobbyist
-"you had solstice eyes: cold, dark, alluring."
Beautiful
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:iconlittleblueraccoon:
littleblueraccoon Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you! :)
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:icongletser:
gletser Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
i think it is simply perfect. 
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:iconlittleblueraccoon:
littleblueraccoon Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2013  Student Writer
Thanks!
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:iconmountainmew:
MountainMew Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2013  Student Writer
"you had solstice eyes: cold, dark, alluring." This is such a neat analogy, I I love your descriptions. This is really beautiful.
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:iconlittleblueraccoon:
littleblueraccoon Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you! (:
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:iconkyanitearcher:
KyaniteArcher Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Holy cheese this is awesome. I love this: 
they say two wrongs will never make a right,
but i made so many bad choices that 
i wound up back where I began.
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:iconlittleblueraccoon:
littleblueraccoon Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you! :heart:
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:iconx-sinister-chaos-x:
x-Sinister-Chaos-x Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2013  Student
Thank CHRIST you do slam poetry, darlin'! Maybe it's because I have the window open and it's 20 degrees outside, but your work is giving me chills!
I really like the final line as a conclusion: it's not one of those "wrap it all up" kind of conclusions, but as though the narrator is saying "Well screw my luck" and is throwing her hands up in the air.
One question I have is why would the narrator trust this lover? Why give him/her the chance, and stay with him/her for so long? Is there something that caught her in the first place? I don't want to force religion on you, but you could compare his eyes to Christmas lights - those would be a really beautiful image to work with. Or, possibly, icicles: something like 
"falling for you was like rain water collecting off of roof gutters and crystalizing, catching the light -and my eyes. Loving you was like sucking on icicles and getting my tongue frozen on your soul" Because icicles can glitter and look really pretty at first, before you realize that, just like snow, it's REALLY cold and unpleasant to touch!

I like that you connected "two wrongs don't equal a right --> full circle" with the summer solstice, since the winter and summer solstice have a lot in common as well as a lot that distinguishes both days.

So yup, my suggest would just be to try and play around with some images. This is a really short piece, which isn't bad in any way -- I just know from my experience with performing slam poetry, like in the past competition I was in, the reading had to be around 3 minutes long - roughly 500 words, depending on how fast or slow you go.
I hope I'm not offending in any way! I just wanted to give you my opinion on the piece :) I quite like it! I don't know how old you are, but sheesh, girl, you've got talent!!!
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:iconphan5everx2:
Phan5everx2 Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
"falling for you was like rain water collecting off of roof gutters and crystalizing, catching the light -and my eyes. Loving you was like sucking on icicles and getting my tongue frozen on your soul" just that line is so amazing, inspiring, metaphorical, everything. I love it
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:iconx-sinister-chaos-x:
x-Sinister-Chaos-x Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2014  Student
Oh wow, thank you! I'd forgotten I'd written this - to be honest, I was just trying to come up with an example that didn't sound like absolute trash. I'm glad you like it, though :) :hug:
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:iconphan5everx2:
Phan5everx2 Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Your welcome! Also, this was just so good I have to ask, do you write/post poetry? Would you consider it? If thats just you trying not to sound like trash you would be/are amazing. Clap  I think I've fainted. 
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:iconx-sinister-chaos-x:
x-Sinister-Chaos-x Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2014  Student
Daw, yes I do write poetry! I've been writing spoken word poems for almost a year now, and more traditional poetry for maybe two years. I've only recently gotten much more into writing poetry over writing prose.
I have quite a few pieces in my gallery on deviantart and sometimes post video readings on Youtube :)
I actually am working to motivate myself to look for magazines interested in publishing poetry. One issue is that if I send snail mail they will automatically know I am a college student by my P.O box address. I'd rather have the magazine judge my work rather than my age, and so this means I'll be limiting myself to sending emails to publishers, which often means a longer wait to hear a response back.
And, as is only natural of artists, I'm a fabulous procrastinator. And horrified of rejection. Those two factors seriously slow my process in trying to get published!
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:iconphan5everx2:
Phan5everx2 Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I'm so glad to hear that you write! I'll check your stuff out. Oh I do hope you get published! It is pretty frustrating for people to judge your age before you talent...but I hope it works out! (yes I know what you mean about procrastinating. why do I do this!?)
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:iconx-sinister-chaos-x:
x-Sinister-Chaos-x Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2014  Student
Thank you, darlin'! You're a sweetheart! :hug:
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:iconx-sinister-chaos-x:
x-Sinister-Chaos-x Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2014  Student
Oh wow, thank you! I'm flattered. I was honestly just trying to come up with an example off of the top of my head that didn't sound like absolute trash - I'd forgotten I'd written this! I'm glad you like it :3
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:iconmountainmew:
MountainMew Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2013  Student Writer
"One question I have is why would the narrator trust this lover? Why give him/her the chance, and stay with him/her for so long?"
I have no idea if this was the intention, but I've known many people who have stayed in bad relationships with people for far longer than they should because, even when they know it's wrong, they feel like they need that person. It's emotional manipulation; a person will make them feel so worthless they don't think they can leave that person or be with anyone else.
Not sure if that makes much sense, but I couldn't certainly see this narrator going back simply because they don't know any better. It's more common than you might think.
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:iconx-sinister-chaos-x:
x-Sinister-Chaos-x Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2013  Student
Yeah, you're right. I know just what you're talking about: I know what it's like to be trapped in a relationship. Granted, from a different perspective - staying with someone because you know they cannot stand alone, and you are the only source that is keeping them from destroying him/herself.
I didn't mean to come across as accusative, so I apologize if I sounded like I thought it a lowly relationship that would seem black-and-white: clearly destructive. Often times you can't tell until you're out of that relationship. Sometimes you can't even tell when you do get out...

However, what I was wondering was what hooked the narrator - why love their lover in the first place? Would the lover first show affection, and then take it away and replace it with the emotional manipulation you mentioned? Because if someone you know is a jerk to you, you often don't stick around. So what catalyzed this relationship to evolve from friendship into a romantic relationship, which holds more merit and manipulation? Also, while the cyclical nature of the poem does show the narrator returning to what they once knew, I would like to see this image further developed, as you were saying - "going back simply because they don't know any better".
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:iconlittleblueraccoon:
littleblueraccoon Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2013  Student Writer
"Maybe it's because I have the window open and it's 20 degrees outside, but your work is giving me chills!" Oh my gosh, you're hilarious! =P

I'm glad you feel that way! I think the ending does have a bit of frustration to it. I suppose I intended for the narrator to be drawn to this man, knowing he's bad news, but being unable to avoid falling in love with him. I like the Christmas lights and the icicle images, because they do make sense, and I especially like the meaning behind the icicle one. I agree, I will have to play around with that a little bit, and I do need to make this longer if I were to perform it. (:

I'm not offended in any way; you've been very kind and helpful! I appreciate the advice because I'm fairly new to slam poetry (I just started this year) and I really need to work on my performances. I'm fifteen, by the way, and thank you very much for your comment! It's been really helpful! 
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:iconx-sinister-chaos-x:
x-Sinister-Chaos-x Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2013  Student
Oh my God, you are not fifteen years old. Stop. Tell me you're lying--you're too good to be only fifteen!
I myself am eighteen and got into slam poetry this past March :)
If you live near Chicago (I know this is a huge jump, but even if you don't, then you simply must look for competitions within your area!) you need to check out the Louder Than a Bomb (LTAB) competition. It's a slam poetry competition -- it even has a documentary! I highly recommend watching it, as well as listening to works on LTAB's website - there are audio excerpts from readers and you can hear them perform their work!

I did a play on equinoxes (equini? Is that a word?) with this poem which I'd been working on a bit. My piece, I'd argue, is a traditional 2-dimensional piece. But slam poetry is a ton of fun! I feel like you have a lot more techniques to work with, like alliterations, diction, rhyming, beat, etc. It's combining the art of writing with the art of performance. Performing has got to be one of the most horrifying yet equally rewarding experiences!
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:iconlittleblueraccoon:
littleblueraccoon Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2013  Student Writer
:blushes: Thank you! Yep, I'm fifteen. I try my best to sound as professional and adult as possible, so it means a lot to hear that!

I live a couple of States away from Chicago, sadly. In our poetry club, we have slams against other schools. I think we might be having one soon, because that's what we're working toward: beating schools in our area, and then moving on to bigger competitions. I love watching online performances, so I'll definitely check out Louder Than A Bomb. :heart:

It's so much fun, and you're right: you can make a powerful piece even more so through your performance of the words. The first time I tried to do a reading, I was positive I would pass out (thankfully, I didn't)!
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:iconnathalierawr:
nathalieRawr Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2013  Hobbyist

I love how this is actually acurate for me. I met one I really loved that time at december 21, last year. He could keep the chaos away I was living in. Although he loved me back, we were seperated through time and distance. It didnt last for long. I tried everything to make it work but we both knew it couldnt last.

So yeah, those first lines really remember me of that,

and I really love how you wrote it

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:iconlittleblueraccoon:
littleblueraccoon Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2013  Student Writer
Oh, that's so sad! :( it's interesting to hear that there really is someone out there who can relate to this. Thank you very much for your sweet comment. I hope everything turns out okay with you. :heart:
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:iconnathalierawr:
nathalieRawr Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2013  Hobbyist

Sometimes I still look back at it like: why am I not next to him anymore? But I've heard he changed alot and I'm glad I met him at his best.

But don't worry about me, because I'm really glad I have the memories <3

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:iconlittleblueraccoon:
littleblueraccoon Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2013  Student Writer
Aw, well, that's always good. As long as you can look back on it and smile, it was worth it. (:
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:iconcecilyrosemidnight:
CecilyRoseMidnight Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I like this one. My favorite lines are the last two. :) I love it when poems end off with iconic lines. 
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:iconlittleblueraccoon:
littleblueraccoon Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you! :tighthug:
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:iconscarfire55:
Scarfire55 Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2013  Student General Artist
Tho is quite beautiful it is very emotionally true if you understand what you mean by it. I commend you with you skills with words.
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:iconlittleblueraccoon:
littleblueraccoon Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you very much! :heart:
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:iconemisbakery:
EmisBakery Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2013
wow, you got me speechless for a sec :love:
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:iconlittleblueraccoon:
littleblueraccoon Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2013  Student Writer
Hehe, thank you! c:
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:iconcelestialmemories:
CelestialMemories Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Wow. This is so very beautiful. Amazing job :)
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:iconlittleblueraccoon:
littleblueraccoon Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you! c:
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:iconcelestialmemories:
CelestialMemories Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome!
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:iconcrystallized-skies:
crystallized-skies Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is outstanding. I simply love reading your poetry. It's such a different style. I adore it so much. :heart:
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:iconlittleblueraccoon:
littleblueraccoon Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you! You're always so kind to me whenever you comment. :huggle:

By the way, I'm loving the Doctor Who Christmas icon. 
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