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  • Listening to: ghost stories
  • Reading: ghost stories
  • Watching: ghost stories
  • Playing: churros
  • Eating: churros
  • Drinking: churros
I'm addicted, I love reading them. Have any good ones? I'd really love to see them. Especially if they're personal ones about odd little goings-on, those are my favoritessss and I've pretty much read all of the internet's ghost stories but I NEED MORE

School starts on Monday and I have to write two five-page essays on books I didn't read within the next less-than-48 hours so wish me luck? Summer work is lame as it is but it's especially lame when you work 12 hour shifts and come home wanting to just sleep so you can get up and work the next morning yknow? My motivation for reading those suckers was zero and now I'm FUCKED C:

Also I really want a churro right now

That is all

:heart: Kat
sorry :(

I think something's changing about me. When I was a kid, I could write stories for hours and hours and never get bored. Lately I feel like I have no attention span. All I can write are poems and most of those I don't even finish. My whole life I wanted to be an author and now I think that's changing.

I'm about to be a senior in high school and everything just feels weird. I was dating this boy for the past two years and I was idiot-poet in love with him and he dumped me like I meant nothing and it hurt for a long time but it's gotten to the point where I'm okay with it because I can look back and realize that he wasn't a good person and actually treated me pretty terribly at times. He never would've been right for me but that doesn't stop me from caring about him, which basically sucks.

But something I've realized is that I was so in love with him that I forgot who I was. I spent all my time trying to be the kind of girl he could love because I thought that if I tried harder, he would actually care about me. But the truth is that he never loved me, or at least not the way I loved him. And he's naturally a careless person. I never meant much to him and was just a simple little low priority in his life. 

But there were good times. Looking back hurts. I keep thinking of making out in his car and feeling actually truly beautiful just because he wanted me, and of how he used to sing along to songs in the car and every time a lyric said something about being in love or something about a beautiful girl, he'd (poorly) sing out the lyrics and grab my hand. He used to rub his thumb in circles on my skin when we held hands, and he had perfect green eyes and these cute little freckles across his cheeks. I miss how he felt in my arms and his voice singing quietly against my chest before we went to sleep. I was so young and so fucking stupid :) I was like harley quinn expecting the joker to love her and respect her and treat her right. 

I've talked to every friend and family member and they've helped me so much. I keep telling myself that none of the good stuff matters anymore and that I'm going to learn from all of this and that he made his choice and that he'll never be right for me and that he was never that great in the first place and all the other things I need to tell myself to get through it. And I'm really going to be okay. He's just a boy. 

Albeit a boy I really, really loved.

Being with him made me forget who I was. My mission now is to figure out who the fuck I am anymore, because at the moment, I feel like I don't entirely know.

Sorry for the rambling, it's a long lonely night and I felt like explaining why I haven't been around.


Hello, world!

As we all know, 2015 is winding to its inevitable close, and the looming glow of 2016 is preparing to welcome us into the new opportunities of a fresh year!

I decided to write a little wrap-up to tie 2015 with a neat bow, but then it occurred to me that I could easily make a game out of this, so that's what I intend to do.

The challenge is simple!

:star: Write a journal summarizing your 2015!
:star: Include your favorite work from this year that you have written, and also your favorite work that you have found, from another artist. You can show more than one if you'd like. You could even make a feature if you so choose.
:star: Include some photos of important events, happy times, or anything meaningful, along with descriptions. If you don't have photos, that's alright, just tell us about good things that happened!
:star: Finally, make a resolution! It can be ANYTHING you like: about your art, your personal life, anything you can think of!

Without further ado, here's my wrap-up!

:star: My favorite pieces that I myself made are the following:

after the party.He's drunk in the backseat. 
"Anna. Anna. Anna," he moans, as if my name is a broken record his throat can't stop scratching; his voice is nettles and thorns, every natural prick and annoyance. My knuckles go white on the wheel.
Ryan's riding shotgun and he won't look at me. "If you need me to drive him home, I can do it," he offers sheepishly. I don't answer, just press my foot to the gas and let the engine's rusty roar engulf John's voice.
I peek in the rearview mirror. John's laying across the seat like a dead trout, and I can tell Ryan hasn't even bothered to buckle his seat belt. There's a photo album in John's arms that he clings to with all ten fingers, as if it's a bible and he's lying on his deathbed. 
I flick my gaze to the old country road ahead, a blurry blue smear of early morning. 
"Anna. Anna, I wanna keep her pictures." There's a glint of something in my peripherals, and then a pop, a cool hiss.
"Put the booze down. I don't need you throwing up in my godd

Mature Content

to the woman who drowned herself in the bathtub.i.
to the woman who drowned herself in the bathtub:
in the magazine I own that published your story,
they blurred out the crime scene photographs,
erasing your face and
the full curves of your breasts.
some part of me wonders
if you would have wanted this,
or if you would have liked for 
the public to see you in your final moments,
half-soaked in grey-looking water,
your hair in strings, glued to the porcelain,
eyes closed and mouth gaping,
no breath stirring, no bubbles rising.
sometimes when I look
into the depths of my bathroom sink,
I hear your voice
(or what I imagine it to be--
after all, we never met).
you sit on the edge of the toilet seat,
and chat to me about the weather.
I would give anything to hear your real, living voice,
to ask you what you were thinking
as you lowered yourself
into the tub, queen of the tendrils of steam,
and let your lungs deflate like old birthday balloons.
on the news they say that your autopsy
revealed three quarters
of a bottle o
letter to an ember.if I could say anything
to the me of four years ago,
it would be
"brush your hair."
and also,
"clean up your eyeliner,
you look like an emo raccoon,"
and also,
"there are other colors
besides black,
didn't you get the memo?"
I would then follow it up
by telling you
that your writing sucks,
and that you will one day
throw out all of the journals
you currently hold so dear.
but that's okay.
I'm not the first to spit such
venom in your ear
and I will not be the last.
the good thing is that
you will keep writing 
no matter what I tell you
and no matter how much
the smoke of old words stings your eyes.
I've always admired
your tenacity, kid.
I'm sure you're curious
about the future,
and what things are like
for you when you get to be my age.
it's not my place to spoil
such surprises. 
I'll give you a hint,
you survive.
you buy better clothes.
you find people who 
make you feel like you're beautiful
and like you're worth it
and like you finally

These pieces are my favorites because 1.) I believe they are some of my best work, and 2.) I believe all four of them challenged me in some way. "after the party." is the first piece of flash fiction I've been truly proud of. "seasons." was a different kind of poem for me, based around a theme. "to the woman who drowned herself in the bathtub." dealt with a lot of heavy material. and "letter to an ember." had me addressing myself, which can be difficult sometimes. 

:star: My favorite pieces that others made are the following:

there is steel underneath these layers of fleshpeople say hearing is the last of the
five senses to go.
if that is the case,
breathe by my side when i die.

Mature Content

Mature Content

acrimonyi have spent too long loving you
like a store shutting down, slashing my prices,
hoping there’s something here you might
want to buy before i go under.
this is not your fault. i was told that loving
desperately and wholly was light years
better than loving practically, but you
have spent four years loving me like i am a siege
and you are worried that your fortress’s walls
are not high enough. i think i mean
that you love me cautious; you love me
most nights i waste hours not looking at my phone
and trying to remind myself how much i am
worth without you by my side. the numbers
never add up. maybe this is because
you have never been constant enough to be an equation.
look here, i have it on good authority
that universes exist in my skin and stars have died
so that i could live. stars have died and i have
survived and you will not be the one to make me wish
my soul was nothing but a black hole.
i can’t shake the thought that you are my novel and
i am y
tempest temptressThe first woman was
Promethean punishment,
a way for the King
to ruin mankind
with beauty and grace.
It has always
been this way,
and it continues
because man believes it:
woman is their punishment
and her power too strong,
so she must be contained and
owned by a stronger figure
who can control and tame
the tempest she is.
Pandora is given to a man
to be owned, a possession,
but she possesses
her own jar, it is hers,
and she opens it
because it is
the only thing she has
been allowed in this world,
the opportunity to open,
and she does.
All sorrows and sins
sweep the world, and the story
goes that it was because
her husband wasn’t watching,
because she was foolish
and believed it was jewelry
or silk inside, but
she opened the jar because
it was her own,
and in a world where nothing
belongs to woman,
where woman is man’s punishment
and property to acquire,
she will open the jar
because it is the only choice
she is given.
the five steps of stitching together a wound1. i fall out of love with you on a tuesday.
to be honest, i don’t know it’s happening until
it’s happened, until i sit in my bed that night
and look at the neat holes you’ve left
dotting my life. weeks ago, i gave you back
your jacket when the weather
turned warm enough that i wasn’t smoking
with every breath. the space it took up
on my desk chair remains emptied, but
i am sure it will be filled again soon,
with piles of books i will never lend you
and poems you will never hear me speak,
that aren’t about you, that use words i’ve never
told you, like ‘vitriol’ and ‘bubbly’.
2. loving you was consuming, was every two in
the morning we lived through. it was giggles
and groans and side looks and honesty
so hot it burned when i touched it for too long.
3. that night, i try to quantify what i have lost
but i can’t. it feels less like ripping and more like
melting; i realize i have written my last love poem
for you week
five things they don't teach you in highschool1.
it's okay to fall in love.
i mean, they tell you you're never going
to marry your high school sweetheart and i'm not going
to tell you it's a lie
because it's not. you guys will probably
break up and it's gonna hurt like hell
but you'll be okay. remember, you are not the only one
who has felt loneliness like a knife,
the only one to know the pain of lungs collapsing
because they were your air,
and you will never be the only one who whispered
"i love you" two lives too soon.
you will not be the last one to have tucked
hair behind their ear and leaned in for a kiss
or the last one to wake up reaching for a hand that's no longer there.
but it's okay.
your favorite book will not always be your favorite.
like you, it will change over time
to something unrecognizable
that gives you only a vague nostalgia in the tips of your fingers.
flipping through the pages will never
feel the same again.
you will learn to love something new;
your next favorite will teach you something about y
silent killerdad cries when he thinks we aren't looking
after you've taken your pills and gone to sleep
when i've holed away in my bedroom again
and he says "why her?" so many times that i feel it is all he knows how to say these days
you aren't the you we knew and now we have to make sure you have all your medicine
all your drugs, all your drugs, all your drugs
"take these, they'll help" but you still can't remember what happened yesterday or form coherent thoughts and you still spill your guts in the mornings before my brother goes to school
your fifty-sixth birthday and we can't leave you home alone for fear it will be the end of you
i have to make sure you wake up on time and dad has to remind you that he still loves you even though you aren't the you we knew--
everything is injections and scans and charts and pillspillspills and drugs and chemicals and they're killing you to keep you here
i don't feel like painting and going out with friends makes me feel guilty for leaving you so i staystayst
you’re gonna kill this one;
he tells you so in
        the afternoon haze,
head in your lap. you smile back
because that         was always the fucking plan.
you and your pretty pastel pink nails,
        filed like knives and just itching
to rip someone’s heart out. can’t help it
that you’ve always kissed boys
                        with the intent of murder.
he thinks he’ll love you
               no matter what. so the concealer
doesn’t cover the bruises anymore,
so he weeps for you         all through the night—
the facts can             go fuck themselves.
he’ll spit you out eventually,
could we pretend we're in lovei.
he calls you his bird. sing, bird,
sing; he wants you to sing
until you can’t breathe.
sing, bird, oh sing, put him to sleep,
creep back inside and
lock the window this time.  
but you always come back to
games like these—
   darling, he says, breath
fogging up the window. let him in.
let him back inside of you,
let him fill you up with
his fingers in your hair, he whispers,
darling, and it bruises
little violets onto your skin. darling,
    darling, darling; he says it’s a trap
because he knows you never did
fucking listen.
universeif ever there was a singular point in time, darling,
fixed forever,
i'd like it to be in the blind-filtered morning
in the cold of december,
seventeen hours from my childhood home,
your face in my curls and my head on your chest
WendigoNorma Jean drew a heart on the back of my hand in hoop snake blood.
“When that fades,” she said, tapping the center of her work, “you may forget about me.”
Norma Jean and I dated on and off through high school and then some. We grew up wandering the forest and exploring the caverns surrounding Ripple Creek, running from the hidebehinds and hodags when we stumbled too far into their territory.
The day Norma Jean disappeared, I saw a teakettler scuttling around the shed behind my place. It walked backwards, like they do, and bumped right into the pile of wood I spent all day chopping. Teakettlers don’t ever stray so far from the woods; they’re very shy. It was actually kind of cute – it looked more or less like a cat, but huskier. I had planned to see about trapping it the next day, to show Norma Jean – course, that didn’t happen after all.
I heard about Norma Jean the next morning, on my way to the general store for a new axe; the ax

<da:thumb id="549615782"/> what to say when you can't say i love you anymoreyour eyes were always soft, even when
your voice went hard. for a while,
i treated you like a god and i’m
not saying that i worshipped you,
but i let you hold my hands
and i told you all the sins i carried
in their grooves.
i have since been told that they were never
your burden to bear,
but that doesn’t stop me from aching for you
every time i catch myself thinking
about how it would feel to kiss the girl
two doors down. it’s been a while
since i’ve confessed and i’m not sure
i remember how. the thing is,
i don’t feel that guilty anymore.
the thing is, holding hands is only
ten fingers away from letting go
and we got so good at toeing the line of the cliff
that when you finally jumped, i forgot
i was supposed to follow.
i swear i thought i could keep you floating.
i swear i didn’t mean to let the water
into your mouth. sometimes i wish
i could kiss you dry again but i know
that’s not how this thing works, that’s
not the way
the galaxies are gone from your eyes..
the galaxies were held in his eyes.
supernovas contained in something the size of a dime
nebulas colliding, impartial, hazy, indistinct in their numbers and forms
the milky way, splotchy, incomplete,
more like a spilled paint mistake than god's masterpiece.
we sat on his bed, ragged, well-loved like everything else he owned.
we talked about how we'd leave one day,
escape the suburban life,
trade it in for some other adventure.
and i asked,
     "why do you like girls who are ugly?"
he gave me a look, then turned away,
     "i like a girl with stardust in her hair,
     constellations illuminating her face.
     that's why i like you."

he smiled slightly.
maybe he's right,
maybe one day i'll be a starchild, too.
we were starchildren,
floundering before a polaris stuck atop every streetlight,
and though we followed it's l
a good love poem to get you in the moodthere is a sadness that lives within
liars. i told you once that you meant
more to me than myself, but if i were
truly your friend i would tell you to
i want you to slip from the bed
in the middle of the night while i
am still asleep. i want you to fight
the urge to touch me and trust
that i am honest.
i want you to find your things and
fill your bags with everything that is you
in that place until it is nearly 
empty, and
i want you to fucking leave.
without explanation or one more
ultimatum that you are so fond
of, put that car in drive and don't
you dare come back.
find a studio that
you can afford for two hundred
a month, get a cat, get some
friends that don't matter much
except for filling space. change
your number and if i ever
come begging, pretend that you are not home.
pretend i am some overgrown infant
who has lost their mother (not so far
from the truth,
stuck in a past you won't dare
stick your hands in again).
caughtwhen I was younger
I used to chase boys
across the schoolyard
and carve their names into
the darkest depths of
my makeshift diaries;
I thought they were my
best kept secrets,
so carefully
tucked away under the
corners of my mattress
(or so I thought until my mother
asked me exactly who
jonathan was and why
my tongue tripped
over his name.)
as I entered
my ripe and pungent
teenage years full of angst
and peer pressure
I found myself falling
or rather flailing
madly into love,
which the first one is
always the messiest
because we’re still not
quite sure what love is
except that it makes your
chest feel tight and
sitting in class next to your now
extremely hard--
needless to say he was
neither the first nor last
boy to play with my heartstrings.
but now as I sit on the edge
of adulthood my feet dangling
precariously off its ledge,
the names and faces that
used to line the margins
of my notebooks
have faded to fond memories
and I’ve found myself
ephemerali could tell you it's going to be hard.
i could tell you life is a roller-coaster
of heaven highs and lows that drag
you all the way to the core
of the earth
and then finds a way to somehow pull you
all the way
so it can break you all over again.
i could tell you he's going to love you-
i could tell you to stop worrying about
that first kiss you're not gonna get until
you're six
because honestly kissing's going to suck
until you meet him
and maybe even for a little bit after
until you guys get it
i could tell you to stop being such a bitch
to that chubby girl in your class
because one day after you move in the middle
of fourth grade you'll be bullied in fifth grade
and then as some sort of fucked up defense mechanism
you'll drop a metal seat belt on a little girl's head
just so they stop thinking you're weak.
i could tell you how it'll feel-
how one morning you'll wake up
in regret over every mean thing
you've ever said and i swear to g
old friends will come 'round againi met darkness in a coffee shop. he was sitting
at a booth and his tired eyes
looked surprised when i slid into the seat
across from him; he said nothing
and i noted that he was younger
than millennia, no older than
seventeen and i wondered why i'd always thought of him as
something ancient. he looked lonely, i thought, like
something left behind. it broke my heart
without me really knowing why.
i think he knew how much i wanted to ask
him; about everything and all things
(which, he later informed me,
are actually different) and the things in between.
but i kept quiet and stared out the window with him as hours
passed and the sun rose and fell. and when the shadows lined
the street he got up and whispered
i've got to leave. i watched him go because
i knew i'd see him again.
(there was a sort of camaraderie between us -
i guess it was because we were two people who just needed
s/e/(au)xsoft lashings strapped to skin / demure slip into
frame / i want impression stained hips / leaving a
dress without skeleton / hellion with cliff-hanging
breaths / my throat catches what you drop / and
digging is trapping / trapping is freeing / holding
you close / in a strapless grasp / can you feel
your heart in your esophagus / the way our lips lap
in duo?
/ /
vague flesh altogether connected / fling clothing
into tandem absence / pull bodies closer to home /
feeding a delicate balance with gasping / with
clasping / and i am all filled shudder / and you curve
dimpled moans / our beat thrums everywhere, there /
our breath catches behind teeth / and, carelessly
bitten, settles in between / we are held /
we hold.
genesis, usyou create me new-
fangled and wanting,
with the breath of dawn
suppressing our glowing
you create me anew
in moments and in days,
distance nothing more
than a leap two souls
will once day
you create me new
smiles that are just
ours and just hours
of it, even when our faces
fizzle into pixel
particles, it's
you create me in new
connections and nude
confidence, we shake
in tandem and your hand
is (in) mine,
you create me a new
foundation standing
on brittle ground,
and you are solid.
and you are a
HomefireSet a crown of flames
on the dying logs,
the glowing barkwhales
in a glass cube
of heat. Light
it spreads
like ambiance
into the warm
colours of the walls,
the glass goblet
illuminated with
shadow, the blue
filling of space.
The wood crackles
with sleep.
is a flickering night
warm with the
presence of
sun-danced windghosts.
.And maybe i'm still
future - -
plate tectonics (of pulling yourself apart)i am all
the ridges
of your knuckles
the skin that splits
in two like a fault line
[ this is
  of the
  sickest ]
a body of contour lines,
divergent boundaries -
can't you keep your bones
buried in the backyard no one wants
to see them
seventeenI watch her as I bite the skin on my lips. She picks up the cup languidly, fingers brushing against polystyrene. Her eyes drift upwards and she touches her mouth to the lid.
"You know," she puts the cup back down on the tarmac, runs her hands through her dirty hair. "When you're alone for long enough, you start to get this feeling inside. Like your bones are opening and everything inside them is spilling out."
My gaze shifts down towards her hands and she places them in her lap. I notice how the streetlights are tinging everything yellow, flickering every so often, plunging us into complete darkness. It makes me feel like I'm suffocating, but I don't think she realises. I wedge my chin between my knees. 
"You've got dirt on your shoes." 
In my peripheral vision, I see her eyes sink down to her muddy boots. 
"Yeah," she says. "I know." 
"Why are we sitting in the middle of the road at two in the morning?"
"Because we can." 
I exhale quietly and I can feel the Ju
sergei yesenin i'm carving i love yous 
into a brick wall
and you're on the other side of it
and you can't see it. 
you can't even hear
my fingers clawing into it 
as the blood contours
every painstaking line
that i make for you.
i'm carving i love yous 
into a brick wall
and you're on the other side of it
and you can't see it. 
you can't even hear
my fingers clawing into it 
as the blood contours
every painstaking line
i'm carving i love yous 
into a brick wall
and you're on the other side of it
and you can't see it. 
you can't even hear
my fingers clawing into it 
as the blood contours
i'm carving i love yous 
into a brick wall
and you're on the other side of it
and you can't see it. 
you can't even hear
my fingers clawing into it 
i'm carving i love yous 
into a brick wall
and you're on the other side of it
and you can't see it. 
you can't even hear
i'm carving i love yous 
into a brick wall
and you're on the other side of
<da:thumb id="527968411"/>
The Daily Magnet #36 by FridgePoetProject
The Daily Magnet #24 by FridgePoetProject

I have nothing to say other than all of you are amazing, and inspirations to me. Never stop writing. :heart:

:star: Events!

This year was nuts. I welcomed my cutie patootie niece into the world! I also welcome a new sister-in-law, as my brother married the love of his life, and she joined into our family. I attended prom and the graduation of a boy I loved very dearly, later faced difficulties and a breakup, only to somehow have him wander back into my life. I am beginning to believe he's the love of my life. We faced something rather horrible, and somehow came back from it and came back to each other. The best part is that we learned from it, and he is becoming a better person every day before my very eyes. I applied for scholarships and won nothing! But I'm still trying. My writing style changed. I experimented with a variety of new literature styles. I got my learner's permit, and will hopefully be getting my license in early 2016. I became much closer with my friends, and made some new ones.

I'm trying my damn best, you know?

I'm too lazy to add pictures of everything, so I'll make up for it by showing you how adorable my niece is:

12187871 10206453375187156 5093123696443971746 N by littleblueraccoon

YAY BABIES! :heart:

And finally...


I am making the resolution to write more, and to write every day. I'm also making a resolution to be kinder to others, and to really work on being less shy and better at communication. I want to make smart choices, procrastinate less, and work hard to get myself together.

:star: TAGS! :star:

If your work was featured here, you've been tagged to post a wrap-up challenge like this one! When you feature your favorite work, it will tag more people, and the chain will continue! And of course, if you weren't featured and would just like to do this, feel free!

I want to wish everybody out there a very happy holiday! :santa: I love you all and will be seeing you in 2016! :party::cake:
1.) I am alive, hullo
2.) I have been making art like crazy. Since taking a new creative writing course in my high school, I have become an editor of my school's literary journal, entered two literary scholarship competitions, and written new types of literature I have never experimented with before!
3.) I am backed up on messages
4.) I kinda miss this place
5.) I'm considering cleaning house and showing what I've been working on. I'm so busy lately, but I do miss this place and all of you
6.) I want to apologize for me being sad and bitter this past summer, and I want to thank everyone on this website for being there for me and being kind to me in my time of bitchiness. As a lot of you know, I was going through a lot, but I've gotten through it. The journals about my problems have since been deleted, as I'd like best to forget about that time in my life, but I want you all to know that your concerns and support were appreciated and helped me.
7.) how are you guys? give me the updates, it's been a few months!! how's life??

:heart: Kat, the most inconsistent, flighty writer in all of dA
Brief update, hullo there beautiful people!

this summer has been absolutely nuts for me. but I discovered, through my job, another true passion of mine, and that is photography. I like it so much that I'm actually considering minoring in it for college after I graduate, and I also rearranged my school schedule to include photo shit. which is super exciting.

AND I have an Instagram. I've had it for a while, actually, but I've been posting selfies and stuff there pretty much. I plan to start doing some artsy-fartsy stuff there soon, but I'm not sure when. if you're looking for poetry you won't find any there (mostly because people I know can see my instagram and sometimes I get embarrassed idk), but if you wanna see some possible photography in the future, some of my sketches, and the random pictures of my silly little everyday life, you can check me out @ littleblueraccoon, of course. ;) see ya there guys!

(also planning on making a facebook for my art, and the youtube channel but that might not happen idk)



have a good one, love you all. and apologies for being absent, I have a lot of things to sort out. o_o

:heart: Kat

p.s. I miss my sheep journal D: the struggle of not being premium anymore. or...core? WTF IS CORE??? WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN? HOW LONG HAVE I BEEN GONE FROM THIS SITE

what's in a name challenge!

Wed Jul 1, 2015, 11:00 AM
  • Reading: Clash of Kings


A lot of you seemed to like my lyrics poem game and some asked for more games/challenges, so here's another! 

I've opened up this journal for a fun experiment. Here's how it works:

-everybody who reads this, scroll on down and post a comment with your first name.
-I'll read everyone's names and then write a short poem in a reply to your comment based off of what your name makes me think of!
-but that's not all!
-this journal's open for EVERYONE, so all of you are welcome to go ahead and write a reply poem for other people's names too!

I think it'll be a fun challenge, and it'll be cool to see what names make us think of! let's go go go go go!!

:heart: Kat

P.S. you're welcome to repost/share this journal or make one of your own. but if you do, please mention me in it so I can check the comments and maybe write for those names too!

Lyric Poem Game (give it a try)!

Sun Jun 28, 2015, 7:49 PM
  • Reading: Clash of Kings

How To Play: Put your iPod/iTunes/Spotify/Pandora/music player of some kind on shuffle, and then write the first lyric of each song that comes up. Do this for twenty songs, and you'll create a poem!

NO SKIPPING, you must use whatever song pops up no matter how silly, nonsensical, or embarrassing it makes your poem! And you must use the lyrics in the order they pop on on shuffle.

You can structure the stanzas however you want and add punctuation, or the occasional "and" or "but", but no altering of the lyrics themselves is allowed. You can end up with a pretty interesting little poem!

Okay, let's go, here's mine! If you can name all of these songs I will love you forever and always.

"I remember when rock was young.
I was sitting, waiting, wishing;
things were all good yesterday.

Well, I'm runnin' down the road tryin' to loosen my load, I've got seven women on my mind.
Oh, you humor me today,
just take away the sensation inside.

Wait, watch you throw out your bouquet,
and regrets collect like old friends.
I never knew, I never knew that everything was falling through,
so come a little closer as the night gets older
because I, I'm a one way motor way.

the world is spinning too fast.

when I had you to myself, I didn't want you around.
but now summer has come and passed,
and if I had to, I would put myself right beside you.

Last night, she said, "Oh, baby, I feel so down."
I figured I'd go
wake up, the house is on fire.

Hey lady, you got the love I need,
so load up on guns, bring your friends."

It's, uh, pretty messy and a little weird but VERY FUN TO DO

SO I TAG YOU. YEAH YOU. ALL OF YOU. And if you do this please show me or note me or mention me in it so I can see what you all wind up with! It takes a little finagling and the finish product's not so great but who knows what could result from different music tastes!

Give it a try!

(and I also specifically tag DynamiteHearts and crystallized-skies because je les aime)


Tue Jun 23, 2015, 3:31 PM
  • Reading: Clash of Kings

Hey watchers! I have a week of vacation left before I head back to work and the usual blahblahblah of life, so I thought I'd do something kinda fun with the time I have left.

I'm gonna do a Q+A! Do you guys have any questions for me? Questions about me, something I've written, writing in general, or, hell, I don't know, random historical trivia? Anything, really! If so, go ahead and leave me a comment! I'm going to put together a video to answer all your questions! 

Go wild!

(but like. don't be assholes, if I get some kind of "WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BRA???" question, I'm gonna ignore it and probably block you. so yknow just don't ask shit like that)

:heart: Kat

Alternate Selfie Meme!

Sat Jun 13, 2015, 1:48 PM
  • Reading: Clash of Kings


I was tagged by the beautiful talented sparkly crystallized-skies to do SilverInkblot's Alternate Selfie Meme!

For those of you wondering "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT KAT?", check out this description from SilverInkblot herself:

You can tell a lot about a person by what they write, but there are lots of other ways to get an idea of who they are. What they wear; what they read; what their room looks like; what posters they hang on their walls; what they keep in their bedside drawer. If you're like me, bored with answering the same questions, then feel free to jump in and show your watchers who you are in a different way.

Here's how it works...

Bullet; Purple Post a selfie.
Bullet; Purple Post a photo of your bed.
Bullet; Purple Post a photo of your bookshelf.
Bullet; Purple Post a photo of one of your more unusual possessions.
Bullet; Purple Post a photo of a favorite accessory you love to wear.
Bullet; Purple Post a photo of something you've had since childhood.
Bullet; Purple Post a photo of your pet(s).
Bullet; Purple Post a photo of your neighborhood.
Bullet; Purple Post a photo of your closet.
Bullet; Purple Post a photo of your shoes.
Bullet; Black A short description after each photo would be sweet.

Let's give a try, shall we? :giggle:

:star: Post a selfie.

0613151437-2 by littleblueraccoon

Okay so this isn't a selfie EXACTLY BUT it's the most recent photo on my phone (from graduation this morning). I'm the chick in the daisy dress, the boy is a giant nerd and the love of my life.

:star: Post a photo of your bed.

0613151548a by littleblueraccoon

Kinda a mess. The clothes usually aren't there. :blush:

:star: Post a photo of your bookshelf.

0613151548b by littleblueraccoon

Cluttered AF. Lots of poetry books, fantasy, horror, and romance novels. I've got stuff ranging from The Shining and The Bell Jar to A Game of Thrones and Paper Towns.

:star: Post a photo of one of your more unusual possessions.

0613151555 by littleblueraccoon

A cool little painted skull jar from New Orleans. :heart:

:star: Post a photo of a favorite accessory you love to wear.

0613151549a by littleblueraccoon

Necklace from my boyfriend, he gave it to me for our prom. It matched my dress. His best friend made it for me and I wear it almost every day. It's made from a teal geode and wire. :aww:

:star: Post a photo of something you've had since childhood.

0613151557 by littleblueraccoon

S'mores, my old dog stuffed animal. He may or may not still reside in my bed with me every night. :blush: when I was a kid I used to think he came alive when I wasn't looking. he's so old now that his stuffing is all misplaced and he can't support himself anymore. I've sewed him back together like twelve thousand times. lmao

:star: Post a photo of your pet(s).

0613151551 by littleblueraccoon

beware the fearsome dog-beast. not. Maverick the miniature doberman. he's annoying but I love him SO MUCH. he's very lazy and he loves milkbones. 

:star: Post a photo of your neighborhood.

0613151550a by littleblueraccoon

I live way out in the countryside, no neighborhood to speak of.

 :star: Post a photo of your closet.

0613151549 by littleblueraccoon

I...REALLY LOVE CLOTHES. especially dresses. I am frightfully girly. apologies, it is a complete MESS

 :star: Post a photo of your shoes.

0613151550 by littleblueraccoon

Sandals for now, because SUMMERTIME

Hehehe this is a lot of fun and I've really enjoyed seeing these cute little pics behind some of my dA buddies.

:star: PIKACHU, I TAG Y O U! :star:


Sun Jun 7, 2015, 8:41 AM
  • Reading: Clash of Kings


So if you've been watching me for a while, you probably know that I've been absent from dA for the past few months and have just recently started posting things again.

It's not that I haven't been writing, it's that I haven't been motivated. But today I am HELLA MOTIVATED and I want to fill you guys in on some of the writing projects I've been working with lately, and some of the deviantart stuff that I'm doing.

:bulletblue: I'm putting together a collection of poetry and publishing it. I don't know how, but I'm going to make it happen whether it's through a contest, a typical publisher submission, or self-publishing. I AM WRITING A POETRY BOOK. I keep telling myself "Oh, I'll write a book someday, maybe I'll do this, maybe I'll do that..." BUT I'M SICK OF SOMEDAY. I WANT TO MAKE THINGS HAPPEN NOW GODDAMN IT! So I'll keep you all posted on that.

:bulletblue: I want to thank everyone who supported me in my TeenInk endeavor, which I'm still waiting to see how that turns out. Your llamas, gallery look-throughs, and features are on the way.

:bulletblue: If you somehow missed it...I started writing commissions. (Sorry that I keep self-advertising but I gotta do it somehow ;)) Check 'em out here if you haven't:  Literature Commissions! (OPEN)Hello everybody, Kat here again, and I'm now going to begin doing literature commissions!
:star: Why?
Well, I'll be perfectly honest: I am one broke chick. I'm seventeen, and I come from a large family with five brothers and sisters. I'm expected to pay for most things by myself aside from necessities like food/soap/etc. I need money to afford my cell phone, to pay for a car despite my past two years of saving, and to pay for car insurance. I also need to start saving for college.
I have a job, but it just barely covers my expenses. I'm a worker at a resort and I spend most of my days sweeping floors, spraying things down, and greeting guests. It's okay, but not how I want to spend my life! I'd like to try to do some writing as a way to support myself, however slightly. I think it's important to start gaining experience for my chosen field, and being a writer has always been my one dream.
Don't get me wrong, I have a good lif

:bulletblue: I want to thank everybody who wished me a happy birthday last week, I had a great day.

:bulletblue: I'm in the midst of my annual end-of-school-beginning-of-summer existential crisis but it's all good, it's got me writing. And bit by bit I'm slowly gonna get my life together, I swear.

ALRIGHTY that's everything on my end, thanks for listening to me as I attempt to bullet away my ideas. My life's a crazy little work in progress.

How about you guys?

:heart: Kat

Literature Commissions! (OPEN)

Fri Jun 5, 2015, 3:11 PM
  • Reading: Clash of Kings

Hello everybody, Kat here again, and I'm now going to begin doing literature commissions!

:star: Why?

Well, I'll be perfectly honest: I am one broke chick. I'm seventeen, and I come from a large family with five brothers and sisters. I'm expected to pay for most things by myself aside from necessities like food/soap/etc. I need money to afford my cell phone, to pay for a car despite my past two years of saving, and to pay for car insurance. I also need to start saving for college.

I have a job, but it just barely covers my expenses. I'm a worker at a resort and I spend most of my days sweeping floors, spraying things down, and greeting guests. It's okay, but not how I want to spend my life! I'd like to try to do some writing as a way to support myself, however slightly. I think it's important to start gaining experience for my chosen field, and being a writer has always been my one dream.

Don't get me wrong, I have a good life! My job isn't bad and my family life is okay; they can't afford to help me financially with anything and I understand. But I think this will be a great way for me not only to practice/expand my writing abilities and prepare for a potentional career in literature, but also to make a little extra money on the side. I think it could make the difference for me in many ways, and you can feel good knowing that you're supporting this writer trying to make her dream come true and make her way in this crazy world.

:star: My Literary Achievements

:bulletblue: I have published more than seven pieces of literature in my school's creative writing journal.
:bulletblue: I won the National PTA Reflections Contest in 2009 on the local, county, and Pennsylvania state level for an essay I wrote on the topic "Beauty Is..."
:bulletblue: I completed and graduated a college-level writing course in my eighth grade year.
:bulletblue: I am an honors student who has taken AP literature and writing classes every year of high school thus far.

:star: Guidelines:

:bulletblue: If you're interested in a commission, note me with details of what you want. Include what type of literature you would like me to write for you, and list what you want the commission to be like. For example, you could include genre, characters, a plot summary, or a simple prompt. However, keep in mind that if you give me a prompt, I may take it somewhere different than you had in mind. It's better to be more specific.

:bulletblue: I will not write anything involving blatant graphic sexual content or any other kind of sexual abuse. I also have the right to refuse any commission that makes me uncomfortable or involves anything that violates/disrespects my own beliefs.

:bulletblue: I will only accept points as payment through my donation tab, because I do not have a PayPal account and I don't want to accept payment through any other way.&nbsp;I also won't start writing until I receive payment, and my prices are nonnegotiable.&nbsp;

:bulletblue: I'm best at free verse poetry, but I also write more structured poems and short stories. I'm also fairly strong at writing romantic, emotional, dramatic and fantasy literature pieces. I can also write good horror. However, I'm less experienced with short stories, and I'm weak with science fiction, comedy, historical fiction, and war stories.

If you want to get a feel for what I'm good at, check my gallery! Keep in mind that I write in my own style, and at my current ability. I'm better at some things than others, so make sure you like the way I write before choosing to get a commission from me. If you don't think my writing is up to standard, I can't be at fault for you not liking a commission you get.

:bulletblue: If you aren't entirely happy with your commission, I will be happy to edit under your direction. Tell me what you want changed/fixed, and I'll do it. I will not refund you if you aren't happy after editing, however.

:bulletblue: If you'd like me to email you your commission rather than/in addition to posting it on dA, just let me know.

:bulletblue: I want to keep my writing up to standard, so it may take some time for commissions to process, depending on how many I have and what else I have going on in my own life. I'll try to do them in a speedy fashion. Also, depending on what commission you choose, it may take longer than others. For example, if you choose a short story, it will obviously take more time than a haiku.

:bulletblue: If you order, for example, a 1,000 word short story and I go over the word count while concluding it, you of course won't be charged for that.

:bulletblue: No refunds/exchanges, sorry.

:star: Prices

:bulletblue: Poetry

:star:Haiku, Tanka, and other short forms of poetry: 120 :points: ($1.50 USD)

:star:Medium-Length Poems (3-5 standard-sized stanzas): 280 :points: ($3.50 USD)

:star:Long Poems (6+ stanzas): 360 :points: ($4.50 USD)

:bulletblue: Prose:

:star:Short Stories (1,000-3,000 words):
440 :points: ($5.50 USD)

:star:Short Stories (3,000-6,000 words): 560 :points: ($7.00 USD)

:star:Brief Scenes (Less Than 1,000 words): 400 :points: ($5.00 USD)

:star: Final Notes

These are my first literature commissions and I'm incredibly excited to see how they go! I hope you all consider supporting me in my effort to be a more independent, working freelance writer. If you have any questions, feel free to leave a comment or send me a note! I can be fairly flexible with what I can write, so if you're wondering about something, run it by me!

Thank you kindly for your time!


:heart: Kat

  • Listening to: "Taxi Cab" by Twenty One Pilots
  • Reading: Clash of Kings

Hello everybody! :heart:

I'll get right to the heart of the matter: I've been published! Um. Kinda. What do I mean by that? Well...

Are any of my lovely watchers familiar with the journal and website Teen Ink? It focuses entirely on teenage writers and artists. Teens submit their work on the website, and if it fits guidelines, it gets posted for everyone to see. The best part? Editors select certain pieces to be printed in their hard copy magazine!

I recently joined the website and a poem I submitted has just been published to the website! I'm very happy about that, but I'd like to get published in the magazine because that is a huge step for me as a writer, and I've never been published in anything outside of literary journals in my high school.

That's where you guys come in! The more popular a piece is, the more likely it is to catch an editor's eye and make the magazine. I need you guys to make some buzz about this! 

Here's a link to the poem (it's a new one I've written, never before posted to dA):…

:star:What can you do? Hit the like button! Drop a comment! If you have a Teen Ink account, add it to your favorites! Share it on twitter/facebook/email/tumblr/any type of social media! Send it to your family, your friends, your cats, YOUR CAT'S FRIENDS! Share this journal to let others on dA know! SEND OUT CARRIER PIGEONS TO THE RIDERS IN BLACK OF THE KNIGHT'S WATCH! :star:

(well maybe not that last one)

:star:The bottom line? Support, and spread the word!:star:

(Need incentive? I'd be happy to give llamas to and peek through the galleries of anybody who helps. Just comment on this journal to let me know you helped, and I'll give you a badge if I haven't already, and I'll look through your art and give comments and favorites! I may even put together a feature as a thank-you for all supporters...but make sure you comment below to let me know, or I won't know and I won't be able to give ya a reward.)

Well, that's all folks! I'm counting on you!

Thank you all SO MUCH for being amazing, dedicated watchers. I love and appreciate every single one of you guys, and I would be nowhere without you all. I've grown so much as a writer these past few years on dA and I know that this could lead to amazing things. 

:heart: Kat

(P.S.- Teen Ink is a great website and magazine, and a really good resource for young artists. If you're a teen writer, I'd definitely recommend checking it out.)


Wed May 6, 2015, 3:23 PM

I'm planning on making a dA comeback guys! that means going through my messages and being productive, damn it! I love ya all, enjoy this meme-thing

first thing you wash in the shower? my hair

2. what colour is your favourite hoodie? green with little black cats on it

3. would you kiss the last person you kissed again? absolutely

4. do you plan outfits? sometimes

5. how are you feeling right now? muy cansada 

6. what's the closest thing to you that's red? a pillow on my couch

7. tell me about the last dream you remember having? uhhhh I had a dream that I was lost in the woods at night and it was kinda cool but also freaky 0_0

8. did you meet anybody new today? nah but I'm pretty shy so I subtly tried to befriend this one dude I vaguely know, I think it might have worked a little bit. #attemptedfriendship 

9. what are you craving right now? sleep and cream soda

10. do you floss? please don't judge me. I swear I never have cavities and I take good care of my teeth, I brush twice a day I promise!

11. what comes to mind when i say cabbage? cabbage???

12. are you emotional? oh yes indeed. I am a mood swing. no. a mood merry go round.

13. have you ever counted to 1,000? ain't nobody got time for that

14. do you bite into your ice-cream or just lick it? both sometimes?

15. do you like your hair? not really :\ I wanna grow it out rapunzel long

16. do you like yourself? sometimes, I'm working on it

17. would you go out to eat with george w. bush? nope no thank u

18. what are you listening to right now? telescope eyes by eisley 

19. are your parents strict? very much so

20. would you go sky diving? I am terrified of heights nope nope nope all the way to the sun

21. do you like cottage cheese? ick no

22. have you ever met a celebrity? nope

23. do you rent movies often? does netflix count as renting? otherwise nah

24. is there anything sparkly in the room you're in? my personality

25. how many countries have you visited? only the united states. but I'd love to visit italy and france someday.

26. have you ever made a prank call? nope

27. have you ever been on a train? yeah when I was like six, it was a field trip

28. brown or white eggs? don't really care

29. do you have a cell phone? yes finally, I just got one not long ago

30. do you use chapstick? yeah gotta hydrate dem lips

31. do you own a gun? nope

32. can you use chop sticks? nope

33. who are you going to be with tonight? me and my family. and my dog.

34. are you too forgiving? hmm. good question. I can't hold a grudge, I believe forgiveness is important to have a happy life. but maybe that can lead to being used as a doormat. it's happened before. but I don't regret being forgiving.

35. ever been in love? what even is love? ha. definitely.

36. what is your best friend doing tomorrow? well one of my best friends will be hanging with me at school, the other's sick rn :(

37. ever had cream puffs? nope

38. last time you cried? been a while actually

39. what was the last question you asked? "are you watching catfish?"

40. favourite time of the year? summertime 

41. do you have any tattoos? I wish

42. are you sarcastic? I am 97% sass 100% of the time

43. have you ever seen the butterfly effect? the movie? yes. the chaos theory happening before my very eyes? nah

44. ever walked into a wall? like twelve times today. and doors and stairs and people

45. favourite colour? pink

46. have you ever slapped someone? only when I was a kid, messing around, or doing it for stage combat B)

47. is your hair curly? nope

48. what was the last cd you bought? Panic! At The Disco's Too Weird To Live, Too Rare To Die

49. do looks matter? not really

50. could you ever forgive a cheater? nope, if you're going to cheat on me you can go ahead and get the hell out of my life, bye, I'll hold the door open for you.

51. what are you listening to now? you asked this question already

52. do you like your life right now? can't complain

53. do you sleep with the tv on? nope

54. can you handle the truth? wat

55. do you have good vision? lol nope, glasses 24/7

56. do you hate or dislike more than three people? I don't really hate anyone in particular. I dislike the human race collectively on the whole though. lmao. 

57. how often do you talk on the phone? every day

58. the last person you held hands with? my boyfriend

59. what are you wearing? jeans and a teal baseball tee

60. what is your favourite animal? penguin. giraffe. both.

61. where was your favourite picture taken? I don't have a favorite picture I don't think?

62. can you hula hoop? I'm a fearsome master of the hoop

63. do you have a job? yep I do

64. what was the most recent thing you bought? a crispy chocolate bar the I regret both purchasing and eating

65. have you ever crawled through a window? lol let me tell ya.

I tag whoever feels like doin it 


Fri Sep 26, 2014, 6:05 PM

Hey guys, still on semi-hiatus, but I just noticed PoetryOD has deactivated her account?! Does anybody know what's going on? Is she coming back? I truly hope so, she is such an inspiration to me and so many others.

:heart: Kat

pointless journal! :D

Sat Aug 9, 2014, 10:16 PM

it's really late right now, and rather than doing something productive (like responding to your kind messages, cleaning my room, writing the "My Deviantart Story" thing, or, y'know, actually writing something), I've decided to make a very pointless journal entry that I will probably regret when I wake up in the the title probably implies.


so idk how much you guys actually know about me. like I bet most of you read my stuff, which I appreciate bc it makes me feel very warm and fuzzy. but you probably don't know that I love gummy bears. Or that I've watched the entire series of Scrubs three different times. Or that I collect snow globes.

which makes me think about how people are so crazy detailed. All you guys reading this right now have so many different things going on in your lives, so I was wondering...if you you want to leave a comment with a fun fact about yourself or something? I want to get to know you a little better. :heart:

I watched The Departed the other day and I am still not okay with the ending. Like I knew it was coming but it still shocked me and I just ugh. It's so unfair, that freakin elevator scene gets me every time. lakjsdhfkj

School starts in, like...three-ish weeks? I'm dreading it. I don't want to have to do math again. Anything but math please. Also I have no clue what I'm doing for my future. Like college? idk. Careers? idk. Responsibilities? Getting my driver's license? Working? idk man just lemme alone I want to be seven again.

speaking of which

One time when I was little I almost drowned in the ocean which sounds really scary but in reality I was in like two inches of water and somehow I got turned upside down and I didn't know how to swim. I just thought I was drowning. And I was like "oh god here it is, I'm dead, I'm dying, this is the end" but then I lifted my head and realized it was not even deep enough to take a bath in or something. smh I was a dumb kid.

Also I've discovered that the best books have a good blend of sad stuff, funny stuff, romantic stuff, and action-y stuff. Yeah, the recipe for a perfect story. Also it needs pirates. and possibly wizards. 

Recently I've become addicted to Placebo. fantastic band I tell you. good lyrics, cool alternative sound. yeahhh

i'm so tired rn ohmygosh

also another thing about me is that I am a constant worrier. like once I felt sick and immediately thought "that's it, I'm dead. it's west nile disease, it's ebola, it's cancer. I'm dead, my life is spent."

actually I think stuff like that all the time. OH OKAY so I want to know if this sounds crazy of not: I AM TERRIFIED OF USING SCISSORS. Because I have this irrational fear that SOMEHOW THE SCISSOR BLADES WILL BE TURNED UPWARD AND I WILL FALL FACE FIRST ONTO THE SCISSOR BLADES AND STAB OUT MY EYEBALLS



and the message is usually something like "hey sup gurl"

and then I can breathe a sigh of relief knowing that I don't have to save their life or something.

I don't know why I'm writing this journal with random facts about me. Why are you reading this still? Is anybody still reading this?

so I'm super over-protective. I was out with my friend the other day and we were crossing the street and it was really busy and halfway over the crosswalk the frigging sign randomly changed from the safe green walking dude to the red stop hand and a bunch of cars came flying at us

and I went into superhero mode of some shit because subconsciously, I grabbed my friend's hand and literally dragged him full speed across the road to safety.

he told me it was the most anime moment he ever witnessed.

and then the same day he like wobbled while we were in the store after he told me a story about how he passed out one time and I was like "OMFG DON'T PASS OUT DON'T DIE ON ME I DON'T HAVE THE UPPER BODY STRENGTH TO CARRY YOUR LIMP BODY TO SAFETY"

OH and one time I tried to flirt with this guy on facebook but I got all nervous and ended up ending him an emote of a cactus holding a skull. and I said "look, SHAKESPEAREAN CACTUS!"

to this day I think of that and cringe

we are not in a relationship in case you were wondering whether that suave line worked on him.

what other entertaining things can I tell you guys...

oh, I almost choked to death on a lego once...which was terrifying at the time but stupid of a way to die.

Like seriously. Death by a small piece of cheap plastic that you had in your mouth for some reason. how dumb would that be if I died by choking on a lego. how pathetic. 

final anecdote:

last halloween I went trick-or-treating for some stupid reason. and I had a cheap cleopatra costume on from walmart, and I decided I was going to hit up the neighborhood for some candy. because why not. and at this one house i ring the doorbell, expecting some middle-aged lady or someone to answer. 

but nah, it is literally one of the most attractive guys I've ever encountered. and I blush madly as he looks at this TEENAGE GIRL (bc I could tell he'd been expecting like little kids to come to the door) and he grabs some candy and gives it to me.

and the second the door shut i ran like hell out of there, seriously RAN. I think I was fueled by my own embarrassment tbh.

well that's all for me. tell me about you. got any funny stories? fun facts? etc? idk just comment something so we can learn about each other and stuffs.

love you all. beware legos, and the ocean. and trick-or-treating.

:heart: Kat

also if you read this whole thing you are definitely a saint maybe

Anobrain Feature!

Mon Jul 14, 2014, 11:38 AM

anobrain writes clever, poignant poetry which is rich in imagery, yet remains subtle. It is powerful, intriguing, and modern. Anobrain herself is an awesome, kind deviant with plenty to offer. I'll let her work speak for itself, but please consider dropping her a message or giving her a watch! She is a lovely person!

no greyi am levitating with
a cloud tucked beneath
each arm,
i float in the ionosphere
with solar rays refracting
through my cell's cytoplasms,
like the atoms
inside my body are joining
back together with the 
and i'm going
to be whole again, i promise:
i can see for the
first time in centuries
and my lungs are clean,
my chest is open
my hands
are empty
linesthere are circles beneath her eyes
the size of lunar craters and she thickens
them up with liner, checks her teeth
in the mirror, pulls her hair down,
she tries to fix herself with broken
boys and acid in the night
but she wakes up every morning
and feels herself crumble,
ceci n'est pas un chapeauearlier, i read something that said
"make sure you kiss your knuckles
before you punch me in the face"
and it made me think of you,
it reminded me of the fervent
ache i used to wake up with
and go to sleep with, like a 
million hangovers all crammed 
into one little vessel.
and i missed it.
then i remembered how it felt
to have you break away from me,
like birds out of a cage -
i know now how it feels to breathe
clean air, 
to escape from something that
swallowed me up like a boa constrictor
and made me seem as if i was something
that i wasn't.
god - i'm so much more than that. 
awaketake a fucking chance. be who you want to be. do not conform. you are a wonderful mess of carbon and opportunity - do not waste that. if there's a word on the tip of your tongue, say it. be daring. be brilliant. grab each day by the throat and say out loud that today is going to be badass. mean it. sometimes things are gonna suck a lot, and that's okay. you're gonna want to not be around - and that's okay, too. the notion is fine but your gut instinct is going to be telling you to stick it out and that is exactly what you have to do. for yourself. if you start living by other people's standards then you tie yourself down, you will become somebody that you are not. change is fine, it's natural, you are going to change. but don't let other people shape you to become something they desire. stand tall and say it's all or nothing. your destiny isn't there to be fucked up by the toxicity of anyone else, or anything else, for that matter. all that matters is you and point blank dangerousthe other morning i saw bugs crawling into my sink that weren't there when i looked back up again. i get headaches the size of bricks, stabbing me like toothpicks and chainsaws all at once. when i see you my hands start shaking and not in a good way, not anymore, i can't look at your eyes without wanting to throw up - not from disgust, but from pure, unadulterated fear, you are the most beautiful pistol, point blank dangerous, since the first time you looked at me in that way - and you know the way i mean - i knew i'd just bought myself a one way ticket into the pit of my stomach and i knew i wouldn't be alright for a very, very long time. and they say forever isn't that long at all but try carving your own infinities into the soles of your feet or balling your hands into fists and opening them with new dimensions inside, it ain't all that easy and maybe now you'll understand when i tell you i can't move on. not because it's risky, not because i'm scared. i'm not scare grief is a housethere is a funeral being held in my throat.
i feel the awful sound of church organs rattle my cheekbones,
i feel the burning acidity of tears sting the back of my tongue.
"and you, you will be sorely missed - 
those words that never had a right moment to come out,
the thousand times you will never get to say his name to him."
it shakes my body.
"this is a toast.
for the fingers that will never be able to 
touch his face again, for the memories that
will slowly dissipate into a deep, dark nothing." 
you rock my bones so gently, now,
like the wilting of flowers shift my ribs.
i hold this coffin like an empty sacrifice between 
my teeth, and i won't let go.
the smell of dying flowersroses are always better 
first thing in the morning, 
just like hands are always better
held in winter. 
having said that, 
i never did quite understand the 
way that your neck stayed so
tanned the whole year round,  
or how tomorrow, it'll be a year and
a half exactly since we first exchanged
preferences are not a luxury
i seem to possess, not anymore, 
not now you're linked hands with her
and i'm still standing here,
all alone. no man is an island, but 
i feel as if i could dive right away from
myself and swim forever. i want to
wrap myself inside myself over and over
again, like waves that tumble right
the way through to the edges of the universe,
yet i still can't seem to shake this
feeling that climbs its way
up my throat when i'm crawling around
under covers, like moths chewing away
at the lining of my stomach. 
i feel like i'm living with corpses, dead
wreaths and your wraith twining 
into my innards, slowly,
there are too many people making homes in my headwhen you wake in the depths of the night
and feel the breath bright sting of tomorrow on the underside
of your tongue, do not wince or squirm or try to run.
just hold on tight:
the storm is coming, and baby,
you and i were always electric.
the birth of winterintoxication never even crossed your mind
when you were thirteen, but there you were:
seventeen years of age, 
shooting every possible substance you could
and mumbling nonchalantly 
into every mouth you found.
those eyes. you knew them - they
stared at you, at every party, after
every next sip of drink. you knew they
looked, you knew because you felt the buzz of it
and god knows you always felt your highest
when they raked over you, autumn,
hazel, pierce through a couple doors,
a couple walls, a couple months.
the same strings of words cascade from between 
your lips every time you open them but
it's because you lock your surreptitiousness
far deep down in the back of your
throat, let the alcohol numb you (dumb you) down - 
you fall through the back door 
and laugh at the stars.
like a mother shouldi. let's talk about kids. how they draw 
in such bold strokes, girls with triangular torsos
and hair three times the length of their body.
let's talk about, "mum, what's gonna
happen when i grow up?" let's talk about
toddlers with chocolate smeared across their faces,
about glistening eyes and inexperienced minds.
innocence. all pure white, blank canvas,
being painted before your eyes. scar on her ring
finger from the time she fell off her bike. 
ii. she sits you down. broken veil, red eyes.
you want to erase the sadness right out of her.
"mum, what's gonna happen
when i grow up?"
you just hold her
quietly and softly,
like a mother should -
innocence, all pure white, pierced open
and singing like a siren song. scar on her ring
finger - apart from she hasn't been on a bike ride
in years.
today is a new day andi am growing up out of my 
bones and out of this skin and
this skin is growing roots down into 
the core, the core of me
and myself and this skin
- oh, this skin 
this skin is thicker than you will ever believe.
if you told me that you had sunflowers
sprouting from the corners of your
eyes then i'd have no choice but 
to believe you. you are a child of the sun,
you have wheat growing under your 
shoulder blades, you have been flecked
with a ginger paintbrush dipped in solar
rays, you are soft-lipped and you,
you are warm
i might be sunburnt but this organ is over
seventy kilometres deep and i can't feel
the touch of your uv arms underneath all
this wadding,
i don't want solace dripped over me like 
tanning oil, not if i'm like this,
not if i'm different to how i was before
seasons change
nephologyi'll be six feet under 
- the stars, and you will 
be right beside me
hand clasped, fingers through
laced right up like a corset
and you are everywhere,
like you've melted yourself into
my clouds and you've got yourself
stuck and i'll never be able to let go
you are vapour, rain, puddle, vapour
you are cycling through brain tissue
and you don't stop
and i will tell you this, i will say:
even when our little planet has been
burnt to a crisp, or smashed into
ten trillion pieces, has been frozen over
like the skin on my neck, 
even then: i will still love you
because you'll still be in my clouds,
even if you've been flung in 
countless directions all across the 
expanse of this stellar nursery,
you will still exist.
we're made up of atoms upon atoms
upon more atoms than you could ever dream
and we will refuse to be destroyed
tell a liei. rivers are stronger than oceans despite their size
they tumble through sharp mountains 
but they never, ever stop
ii. i can rush and pick up sediments 
and disperse them where i wish

iii. i'm lying -
i knew you saw it anyway,
there's seaweed in my fingernails
and salt on my breath

i was meant to make tea for you last sundaythe kettle boils
steam pouring out of the lid
and i sing your name.
the cupboards are silent,
all open an inch or two
because i don't like to
leave the glasses in the dark.
glasses are meant to
be shone on; 
glasses are destined
for a life of transparency.
not i.
the underneath of my cabinets
are wet and the paint is peeling
from the condensed steam.
i sigh and rip off some of it's skin.
the switch flicks up,
the steam stops fleeing from the kettle.
i reach up for two cups but my hand knocks and the door moves and 
everything comes crashing. 
glass snaps and plastic smashes,
plates bounce and cutlery breaks.
my voice hitches and you disappear from my throat.
origami death wisha piece of paper, no matter how big or how small,
can only be folded eight times over 
before it springs back out
and unfolds itself.
i could fold into myself a trillion times over
just so i would fit in the space between the two fingers
that you hold your cigarette with.

Until next time,

Gossip Girl

Just kidding 

:heart: Kat

I want to say a huge thank you to SleentheBeast, who has given me a year of premium! I'm so touched, and seriously just freaking out. This means so much to me and I just 

wow :la::la:

I'm so thrilled, I've never had the money to pay for this and now here it is. I feel like I owe you so much, you've been this wonderful to me, some stranger on the internet. :blush:

Thank you so, so much once again! :heart:
  • Listening to: HUUUUUNGRY EYEEES
  • Reading: Please Ignore Vera Dietz







(because when I can't sleep, I listen to cheesy music)
Hey, guys! So I've finally gotten around to choosing the winner of the Micro Music Contest.

It was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Seriously, I was amazed by just how incredible these entries were. I want to thank each and every one of you for participating, and please don't feel bad if you didn't win, because this was such a close race.

Without further ado, the winner of the contest is...

:party:anobrain, with her deviation lines! :party:

linesthere are circles beneath her eyes
the size of lunar craters and she thickens
them up with liner, checks her teeth
in the mirror, pulls her hair down,
she tries to fix herself with broken
boys and acid in the night
but she wakes up every morning
and feels herself crumble,

This poem wasn't particularly long, but I could tell that the time was used very carefully to construct a solid idea and image. Imagery's fantastic, by the way. I liked it quite a lot! Congratulations, anobrain! Expect your prizes soon! ;)

It took me so long to choose the winner because I was so overwhelmed by how awesome these were. And honestly, I'm wishing that I allowed for three top places, but it's a little late for that. Instead, I'm going to feature all the entries here!

Pompeii © oakleafninja23 | 2014
footprints on the shore 
waves washing over the memories of time 
hear laughter in the breeze 
look at your smile 
i want to stay for a little while 
hands entwined 
i hear secrets entangled in your voice 
wanting to come out 
in the sounds of summer 
i listen 
as your walls fell down around your heart 
and when we leave 
only silent imparts 
we close our eyes on the sandy shores 
of paradise eternal 
forever alone in our paradise 
let goplease just trust me and finally take my hand -
i know how to save you, i know how to take you and transform you,
and all you need to do is close your eyes and suck
in your final tainted breaths and let me take the reins. forget about
everything that holds you back, let the pain
of the past escape through your slightly parted lips,
and watch with your lovely iridescent eyes
as together, hand in hand, we become beautiful.
The Moonlight Brings ChangeSurrounded in sunlight,
Her face is radiant,
With a smile so bright and eyes shimmering.
She glows all over, not a spot left out,
And her purity is as white as her porcelain skin.
Her intent is as easily seen as the shine in her golden hair,
And just as pleasant to witness.
But masked by the moonlight,
Her face is bathed in black,
No emotion visible.
The only light she has is that which strikes her back.
Her secrets are abundant as shadows are in the night,
Keeping everyone away as they remain fearful,
While those that dare come close regret ever having done so.
<da:thumb id="462624313"/> sea fogthere are salt-water lakes on my thighs
and on my breath, and i am a tsunami
implosion at the break of day
and you're silent
and you're still
you're so god-damn still; you haven't
spoken all through this great
tidal wave that i've been living
i can't,
i can't leave this alone
you were supposed to be there
lifting the sea fog that rolls
                                    and rolls
                                    and rolls
but you left me on the ocean's lips
to add my salt to the water;
mourning, morning dew
and the fog hasn't lifted
<da:thumb id="462728358"/> Far From HomeI've lost the road,
never going home.
Memories are lost,
in this freak show that I roam.
The shadows of memories,
permanent in my soul.
I feel trapped within myself,
I've got nowhere left to go.
Everywhere I've gone,
everything I've seen.
It all brings me back,
to the person I've never been.
I remember all the faces,
The places in my mind.
I wish the holy heavens,
would still allow me inside.
They're keeping me out,
they've locked me in a cage.
They've made me a sinner,
and this is a sinner's rage.
Everyone around me,
is under the holy crown.
While here I am just shattered here,
slowly breaking down.
They're all trying everything,
to break me down.
your heart is an empty womblast night he said with a paper cup of warm whiskey
sitting between his palms like a prayer on acid
that your love wasn’t as palpable as hers
and you never felt like smashing anyone’s tail lights
and steeping them in a cup of warm water and
letting the glass cut your throat as it goes down
sleazy and easy in the red light district.
cracks in the ceiling remind you of the palms
of his hands- cracked and full of pictures
you can hardly decipher unless your high,
not as palpable, your heart is an empty womb.
<da:thumb id="463031509"/> I want to stop caringI don't want to care anymore
not about my looks
not about my behavior
not about how people think of me
not worry about being strong
or showing weakness
or needing help
or wanting to be alone
until now i've never realized it
and it's been driving me insane
but it's apart of life
and life is beautiful
and I want to embrace that beauty
and just
not care
DriftTake all of what we’ve become
and stuff it into the ocean
because I’m ready to float
on the mists and the sand
and the rolling waves that break
against my temples.
There’s so much rain,
so many clouds touching the ground
being pulled down by gravity,
weighed down by all of our regrets.
We’re just two stops away from
the last strand,
we’re only on the brink of everything
and face to face with nothing,
and all this salty water is pouring down
to our very feet,
to the state of the shores,
and it will pull us up and away
from gravity.
GoldenGilt ashes of our lives
flickering down from the streetlights
of a fantasy
God's tears stream
cracked skies
Sticking our fingers in sockets,
trying to get the sparks
to run through our bodies
like we need them to
I'm the patron saint of
bad mistakes
so don't make time for me
'cause I'm the kind of kid
your mother warned you about
City of Broken DreamsI stand on the bikeway 
Headphones in my ear 
The river at my right 
Is no longer so clear 
I've lived here since forever 
I was born just a mile away 
In a hospital of students 
My mother in dismay 
I almost died in that place
Barely left my mother's womb 
She was so scared because 
Her body was almost my tomb 
I've grown up in this city
I played on the bridge above me
When the river was clear 
And there were many turtles to see 
But everything's gone downhill 
All the upper class moved out
Up into the north parts 
Leaving just the poor with their doubts
I can't make a living here now
I have to get somewhere new
Get me out of this god forsaken city
To a place where there are just a few
Imperfectsilver slippers, begging my feet
kiss me, bear down and
forget everything else
and destroy yourself with numbers
once more, remember when calories
were the enemies, the ease
of slipping away--
but his voice, now, whispers,
and the promise of a future
is worth more than leaving
no footprints.
i will not be consumed.
Karma Has It (micro music contest)Well I got what I deserved
And they came to get me
I gave what I could but
It wasn't enough
Now I'm sinking in deep
But they won't pull me out
Don't you see what you've done?
I messed it all up
I lost myself in it
Now they're hunting me down
And I've come to my senses
But they're making me pay
For my mistakes
They're making me pay
kept going back to that burning in my throathere we go again, darling:
time for another round.
bottoms up, my dear,
because it's time for another shot:
shot to the heart,
that is
i want to break your heart
like glass:
smash it against the floor,
stomp on it. twice.
walk out the door
with middle fingers raised
and a wild, untamed heart
but no,
i play our game
(time for another round, darling,
let's play til we die)
Kings and Queenskings and queens in one world
mean nothing to a god
a ruler of another kingdom
accepting the things you can't change
living and believing in your choices
choices are yours, never dictated
you choose your own path
rule your own life
believe in your choices
don't lock yourself away to avoid choices
you'd be fixing the wrong problem
are you really free then?
decisions are yours,
when you choose not to use them
are you free?
tonightwe are but two shadows
beneath the bonfire
smoldering in the light
of dying supernovas
your fingers interlock with mine
like two puzzle pieces
that don’t quiet fit—
we are imperfect
swirling, we dance in
the ashes of our past lives
your fire burning through
my walls, leaving me
wild and free
this is opposites attracting,
I can see the spark in your eye;
I don’t think i’m the
only one falling in love
GhostsThe time we has was too short
And the time I've had to think about you
is too long.
You have become the ghost in my breath
and I wish never to breathe again.
Then I could be with you
even if for a while,
before you ascend to the heaven you deserve.
That would be worth all my breaths.
I would tangle myself in you and through you
And remain that way until you leave me
and never have breath again
even if I couldn't say "I love you"
my dear, you are worth it.

game overearly again, Fear, well i’m almost out of tea.
i remember your handshake too well from your night visits,
and i wonder how your strikes
only tickle the old and young with naivete.
i remember our wrestling matches and
your unjust resources;
i was a greater victim to these weapons
that came from the optometrist's mouth,
"retinal detachment" throbbing like a cut in my head.
i remember falling to your brother Fate.
i remember waking and wondering why i'd opened my eyes on the other side of the moon when the truth hit me like your fist.
i struggled to escape my eternal night chains
and spill them through unseeing eyes,
begged the world to break my mind
as you had broken my vision
but nemesis was off-duty.
thus life lost all its vividness and
i lost sight of the future
i could no longer have, no longer wanted.
but our chat is not for reminiscence.
you see, i have an ally this time:
Fate sits at your side, well
he sits at mine.
my friend, you forget.
you forget love, and his embr
Untitledlet's take a roman candle
to the acousticspace.
overload from the schools;
friends can hurt the most
with their true.
let's take a roman candle
away from this trumpet fare,
exams running down the hills
to ambush us on our morning path.
i've had enough of daily rebirths and
i've made the sun into a placebo pill
so i should be able to ride a roman candle
into the acousticspace now.
but we only have the weekends as the blanket,
so we keep on running like a drum beat
dying to be heard behind every one elses instruments

Well, that just about wraps it up! I'm so impressed with how this contest turned out, and it's all because of your participation and enthusiasm. You all rock! Once again, thank you to everyone for participating, and to SECRET-NINJA-SUPER-M and BlueLionEyes for donating prizes! 

Until next time!

:heart: Kat

  • Listening to: The Beach Boys
  • Reading: The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls
  • Drinking: Root beer
Edit, June 29, 2014: Alrighty everyone, this contest is officially over! I'm shocked by how many amazing entries I got for this contest! It will take me a few days to sort through them and choose a winner. In the meantime, give yourself a pat on the back, you did amazingly! Stay posted for the results!

Hey, everybody! I've got a contest for you today! Here's what you need to know:

The Goal

Pick a song and write a poem inspired by the song, while listening to the song, in the time it takes to listen to the song. I do this to overcome writer's block. Do your best to write the best possible poem you can inspired by the sound/lyrics of your chosen song. I'm looking for quality rather than quantity, so it doesn't have to be very long.


:bulletpink: The song must be five minutes long or less. In other words, no cheating! It's an unfair advantage to other contestants if you write a poem during the nine-minute song Jesus of Suburbia by Green Day. 

:bulletpink: You only get the length of the song! No more, no less, and no editing afterward! Your time limit is the exact length of the song.

:bulletpink: Please include the following in your entry's description: song title, band/artist, and a link to this journal.

:bulletpink: This contest is going to be quick, and will conclude at midnight on June 28, 2014 (I will give a little wiggle room for different time zones, of course.)

:bulletpink: When you're finished, drop me a comment letting me know with a link to your deviation! 

:bulletpink: Uh, that's pretty much it. :shrug:


I want this contest to be a small, fast little event, so the prizes aren't too earth-shattering. ^^;

:bulletpink: Nine :points:, which is all I have at the moment!

:bulletpink: A llama badge, if not already given!

:bulletpink: A llama badge from SECRET-NINJA-SUPER-M

:bulletpink: A llama badge and a literature commission from BlueLionEyes

:bulletpink: A feature of your lovely gallery!


:bulletpink: A poetry commission of your choice from me!

In Conlcusion

This is a fun mini contest that I hope you guys enjoy! Do your best and have fun! If you have any questions, let me know.

You've got a week! Go, go, go!

:heart: Kat